My Torn Identity

Do you ever feel in constant limbo between identities?
Your expression of yourself trapped and stifled by labels being constantly thrown at you?
A few days ago I was doing a seminar reading about how we are moulded into our future personalities and our future jobs from the minute we’re born- or that’s how I interpreted it anyway, some of the readings are super confusing! Anyway, from what I understood, our educational potential is recognised (based on our race, class etc) and we are then moulded around the stereotype of that particular group. This is how class divisions are maintained and is also the framework of the capitalist society.
The reading got me thinking about how I often feel like I don’t fit properly into any category and while I think that’s okay, I always get pointed out for it and my behaviours are almost regulated by other so as to make fit within a certain category.I hate to admit this but it is usually people who fit the same profile as me in terms of race, religion and upbringing who are quick to criticise me. For example, if I was to, I don’t know wear mehndi (henna) to school, they would say something along the lines of ‘that’s such an Asian person thing to do’ or ‘you’re so [typically] Asian’ as if there’s something wrong with embracing my cultural heritage. However, if I like to read sci-fi books and watch nerdy English shows and listen to English music all the time, those same people would turn around and say ‘why are you trying to be white?’ or ‘stop acting white’, as if there’s something wrong with embracing my cultural upbringing.
They say this as if my race determines my likes and dislike, the way I speak and the forms of entertainment I enjoy. They say this as if we aren’t individuals capable of making our own decisions, as if there’s some rule about how one should behave relative to their physical profile. The funny thing is, they criticise you for doing something but then go and do it themselves.
I hate that they try and categorise my behaviours into everything but what I am, a Brit of South Asian heritage. If they did this my behaviours wouldn’t need any explanation. If they did this I wouldn’t be accused of trying to be like someone I’m not, I’d be allowed to embrace my ethnicity as well as my nationality and be not made to feel bad about it.
This is something that I always get frustrated about and I think I’m now at that point where I’ve realised that it won’t stop, wherever you go there will always be someone trying to categorise you, you’ve just got to shake it off and do you.


5 thoughts on “My Torn Identity

  1. speakoutsocietysite says:

    The world is getting smaller every day. With the internet, people are connecting with other nations more and more. Cultural divisions may be broken in the future.

    Yet people will always find something to say about what you do or say no matter what. Do something that interests you. Be who you are.


    Liked by 1 person

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